This post is borne out of frustration with men looking like they have screws loose in their heads, permanently. Sometimes you wonder what goes on in the heads of these singers when they take to the stage. Sure, you want to create a sensation, but do it right. Don't end up looking stupid just because you thought you were funky. If I can't get past how you look aesthetically, I won't be able to concentrate on how you sound musically. So really, get a brain.
How to fit into the space lifestyle:
I mean, hello? How stupid can these outfits get? Brian always looks like he had a permanent disaster in the salon (and now fitting room) these days, but Hwanhee just about takes the cake with this inflatable piece of shit. Don't they know how awful they look? Don't they even look in the mirror before they step out on stage? I mean, seriously... how can you want to perform in such a ridiculous get-up? Imagine bursting that bubbly vest... wouldn't want to be mistaken for farting on the stage, would you, Mr Hwang?
Next, the suspenders era. Hwanhee takes the "let's hang" phrase literally:
Hwanhee, you suck. The stripes remind me of Bananas in Pyjamas, and I thought we'd already moved past the kiddy times, but apparently Mr Hwang is channelling a return to his childhood - fond memories, surely. And what's with the suspenders? They're oh so shiny you might as well polish the table with them. What is it with looking like a cross between a grandfather and a cartoon character?
Suspenders II:
"Hi, I look silly and I know it". Not happy with Bananas in Pyjamas, Hwanhee reverses the colours and opts for a smarmy hairstyle to top off another jaw-dropping, eye-rolling look. Someone pass me the eggs, I wanna smash them into his face.
Suspenders III:
Not happy again, Hwanhee reverses the colours. The boy can't make up his mind. Woe betide. Black and white or white and black? Glove or no glove? To look screwy or not to look screwy?
Besides looking like nut jobs, FTTS also had a pretty dominant colour theme in most of their 8th jib performances. They've been sporting the black-white combo, to devastatingly painful, cringe-worthy effect. Both colours are very powerful, if used correctly to evoke the right emotions. And white does not look good on just anyone, especially a full-white outfit. Like leather, you should own the colour, not let it walk over you. Unfortunately, the boys didn't quite get it.
Brian tries his best to look sexy, while Hwanhee opts for a solitary black glove amid the all-white outfit. Would have been a successful look except that Brian's hair sucks (Andre-Kim streaks, as I referred to in my previous post), and Hwanhee cannot carry off white properly. They look like they're having a failed orgasm.
Hwanhee's disaster in full-body:
Good enough to be a traffic lights post, right? White should seriously be left to weddings, especially on the bride. There's a reason why most brides wear white and grooms a mixture of white and black.
While Hwanhee practises at being a lamp-post or traffic lights, Brian channels his ahjumma-ness:
"I am emo and I flaunt it" should be Brian's motto for 8th jib fashion. Seriously, get a stylist and a life.
Channelling ahjumma-ness II:
"Lai lai lai, junk clothes for only $10 per piece, buy 5 get 1 free". Do you already see an alternative career for Brian? And I don't mean his half-baked Hollywood adventure.
And then we have the makeup :
"Look at my pretty cherry pink lips and eyeliner!" Hwanhee, seriously, can't you stop looking like a girl and start looking like a man? Is that too much to ask for? Apparently yes. So he tops off his fey look with a foppish hat, complete with a feather:
Oh look, there's a handcuffy-sort of key-chain sticking out of his pocket - more tacky than kinky. But hey, whatever floats your screwy boat, yes?
I sort of like this picture because it had a 'come hither' attitude that reminds me of SYLM, but that's about it. Sad to say, it only goes to show that the back/profile view (and half of it, come to that) is the most I can tolerate of FTTS' 8th jib asinine get-up.
le jun
